Are you unwittingly setting yourself up for your next panic spiral?

Those of us with ADHD can have a habit of putting our eggs in one basket. 

As a host at Flow Club, my interactions with over 1,300 individuals this past year have given me unique insights into the varied work experiences and personal challenges of a diverse group, including many with ADHD. Those of us with ADHD can sometimes share a common trait: an intense fixation on anticipated successes, whether it's acing a job interview, finalizing a product, or completing any project that's consumed their efforts and passion.

However, there's a downside to this fervor. It can blind one to the possibility of failure, leading to devastating fallout if expectations are not met—especially if one has "put all their eggs in one basket."

Take the example of a high school senior, bred in an environment where college acceptance is the norm, who applies solely to their dream school. They pour every ounce of energy into perfecting their application, believing it ensures admission. But what happens when they don't get in? The emotional and psychological detonation is profound, affecting not just the student, but their family as well.

Or consider the underemployed breadwinner, teetering on financial collapse, who bets everything on a hastily conceived product. Envisioned sales fuel their dreams right up to the launch—only to face the harsh reality of market rejection. Such situations can evolve from personal tragedies to cautionary tales featured in true crime documentaries.

And what of the job seeker who, after an excellent interview with their dream company, ceases their job search, confident in an impending offer? Such high hopes can lead to a shattering blow if that offer never arrives, potentially eroding their self-confidence and mental well-being.

These scenarios underscore the perils of emotional over-investment in a single outcome. The psychological toll of unmet expectations can lead to depression, distorted self-image, and a paralyzing fear of future rejection. It's a narrative too many of us know intimately—the script that tells us we're set up to fail, that our hopes are futile.

Yet, there's a healthier, more productive approach to life's uncertainties: the methodology of an inventor or a scientist. This perspective involves seeing each endeavor—be it a job application, a product launch, or any personal goal—as an experiment. This method includes:

• Applying to multiple opportunities, not just one.
• Viewing each application as a unique combination of cover letter, resume, networking, and interview strategies to be tested.
• Learning from each outcome, refining the approach, and trying again.

By maintaining this experimental mindset, we can insulate our self-worth from the vagaries of external validation. When faced with rejection, we can say, "They weren't ready for what I have to offer. Let's find someone who is." Or, "Perhaps my approach was too forward; I'll adjust and try again."

For individuals with ADHD, opening up to potential rejection can be daunting. However, investing less emotionally and pursuing multiple avenues simultaneously can build resilience. The goal is not to let a single failure—or a series of them—halt our progress.

In addition to this pragmatic approach, cultivating self-confidence and self-love is crucial. For adults with ADHD, particularly those dealing with past trauma, professional psychological support can be an invaluable tool for growth and self-actualization.

In the end, it's not about the single victory or defeat—it's about the ongoing journey of discovery, learning, and adaptation. It's about not letting a single opportunity, person, or setback define us but continuing to seek our place and purpose with tenacity and an open heart.

If you're struggling with paralysis around job  seeking, consider the "Breaking the Paralysis: Getting Hired with ADHD" course at BrightMindADHD.com. I created this course to help individuals with ADHD break through paralysis and confidently start a habit of job searching that will end in a position that fits and fulfills them. I also offer a 21 day one on one career coaching program. Learn more by sending a note in my contact form. 

Stephanie McGuinn, founder of Bright Mind ADHD and an Accountability Coach, is passionate about empowering adults with ADHD to thrive. Don't hesitate to start your journey by reaching out at [email protected].